secret behind the door


I couldn’t get that one thing off my mind. She definitely meant someone else. Gosh, why wasn’t she specific? Well, I’m invited to the party. Should I go and witness someone else in my place or should I just stay in my bed and wait to hear from others? What if I stay and I was actually meant to be there and everything will be ruined? I’ll just wait here for a bit and if it really is me then they’ll notice I’m not there and call me. Speak of the devil.

“Why are you calling me at this hour?” sorry, I can’t be specific about not going to the party.

“What do you mean by ‘why’, aren’t you coming to the party?” The only person who cares, my best friend, she made sure I attended every fun events and she wasn’t going to leave me alone when it was her boyfriend’s party.

“But it’s tomorrow.”

“Come on, Ara. That’s not going to work on me. Stop the act and get your ass here.” What was I thinking? Maybe I should give up and accept the fact that I can never fool her.

“Ok, be there in a minute.”

“Hahahahaha, I know you are snugged up already, just take your time and come here fresh and beautiful. Party doesn’t start for another hour. Silly.”

“You fooled me again, you’re such a bitch.” And as always.

“I know, I know. I’m the genius. Now. Get off that damn bed. See you.”

Maybe I should go and get it done. I can’t live in confusion anymore. Today I will see it with my own eyes, I’ll be drunk after that and I’ll cry a bit too, my friend will also know about my feelings, she’ll be angry that I didn’t tell her but everything will be fine tomorrow. Now, get off this damn bed.

I took one step forward and again froze at the spot. Should I really go inside? This might turn as the worst decision of my life. Still, I take one step at a time, each time thinking of turning back. Fine, I can’t do this, it’s better I go back. I turned back and here we go again.

“Where are you running off to when you know you’re going to land on me?”

Sometimes, I really feel she wasn’t by my side but I end up following her because every decision she made for me has been the good one. But I still wonder why I haven’t told her about my feelings.

“I couldn’t go inside without you. Let’s go.”

“You look extra beautiful today.”

“Thanks. You too.”

I hold her hand and we entered together. As soon as I opened the door I heard someone call my name. I knew it was him but I couldn’t tell, only his back was visible to me.

“Ara, you made it.” Meet john, our mutual and my best friend’s boyfriend. (Ok, I realize I haven’t introduced my friend properly. Her name is samaira Aka sam. John, sam and I are childhood friends. I don’t know how it turned out well for us.)

He was talking to me but his eyes were stuck on him as if he was giving the signal or I wish?

“And why wouldn’t I? Nice party by the way.” We hugged each other but I still couldn’t see his face.

“Meet my friend, byeog. Strange name right?”

“Hi, I’m ara.” I hold out my hand for the handshake. And this was my first time talking to him. And shaking hands, my heart was beating so fast. I looked at him and my mind directly went back to flash back, the first time I saw him. It was john and Sam’s congratulation party. I fell for him the first time I saw him. At that time he was with another woman and later I found out she was his girlfriend. So, I never got the courage to speak to him. But I also heard that they broke up. Yesterday, samaira told me he was going to ask someone out today but she wasn’t sure who, still she was sure enough to warn me it might also be his ex. unfortunately, she was present at the party. And I completely lost hope.

“Hi, byeog. Strange name, right?” and he shook my hand.

“Actually, it didn’t sound strange to me.”

“And you’re the first person who didn’t find it strange. Thanks.”

“It’s my pleasure.”

I really wanted to get out of here. I can’t talk to him for one more second knowing the fact that he love someone else. But I just got here and sam would really get upset if I leave the party soon. I’ll just stay around for two or more drinks and then I’ll leave.

We talked for few more minutes and everything was formal, like what do you do and all. Though I really enjoyed talking to him, I wanted to stop because it was going to stop at some point and he’ll go back to his love. I was really feeling uneasy and thank god I’ve sam, she sensed it too fast.

“Ara, why don’t you join me for a drink?” She yelled from the balcony.
“Be right there. Sorry, gotta go, so see you around.” I didn’t wait for his reply, I just dashed off.
“Sam, I want to leave now. I’m really not enjoying this party.”
“Have a drink and chill, it’s going to get better, we are playing a game afterwards, so stay.”
“But I don’t want to, I just want to leave, please.” I nearly cried.
“Ok then, see you tomorrow. Good night.” She hugged me.
I grabbed my bags and went over to john to say my good bye.
“Sorry john, I’m going to leave now. See you tomorrow.”
“But we still have a game to play. Stay.”
“No, john. I’m really tired.”
“Ok then. Have a good night.”

“See you. Bye byeog. Nice to meet you.” Again I didn’t wait for his reply. I slowly walked past him and stopped when someone hold my hand. I looked back and I was astonished to see him on knees. He was looking down holding my hands. I looked around, everyone was staring at us happily except for Sam because she was as shocked as I was but she smiled at me, that happy smile, as if she wanted this to happen. Gosh, she knew it all this time, damn, I’m a fool. Then I looked back at him. Everything felt like a dream, I couldn’t believe my eyes. He slowly took the ring out of his pocket and looked at me. He showed the geuster “can I?” And I replied back the same way with a “yes”. He stood up after fitting the ring in my fingers and I hugged him tightly. Everyone was clapping and it was amazing. But I wanted to digest everything on my own. I still couldn’t believe any of those things. I kissed him on his cheeks.

“You are going to love this.” And I ran towards the door, everyone was shocked but sam ran after me. I opened the door and left it open for sam to follow. I ran and ran but I stopped at a safe distance and turned back.

“sam.” But there was no one and everything was dark and the door to that room was ahead of me. I moved forward and the door moved away from me. And I knew I’ll never be able to open that door again. I fell down on my knees closing my eyes and cried softly. When I opened my eyes, I was lying on my bed. I looked around, the door has banished, the door that led to him, the kingdom it hid. The door that kept my secret. The world behind that door; my world, his world, our world and people call it a dream, SIMPLY, a dream. And I didn’t ran out of that door, instead I ran out of my dream and straight to reality.

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